Thank You:

Earlier today an older gentleman came in and possibly gave me the best compliment I could ask for. I hope there was no sarcasm in the comment, because if there is I am about to make a complete ass of myself. After completing his transaction and thanking him, he told me (paraphrased for lack of memory) that he enjoys shopping at my place and thought my personality added to the experience. In my eyes I very rarely feel people understand how hard I try to make my store a better experience for all who shop here. I feel I do my best to try and make every generation, race and walk of life feel equal. I bend over backwards often at my own expense and go well beyond industry norm to take care of my customers. I could create an endless list of stuff I 've done for customers that would amaze anyone, but by no means is it about me personally. I do what I do to create a better life for everyone who crosses my path. First and foremost is my daughter. There is absolutely nothing in this world that means more to me than her. (yes mom and dad you are both tied for second) While it is very hard to appease society(no thanks to the Bush administration), I firmly believe in doing so one person at a time. In doing so I sometimes forget to take care of myself and that basic needs to keep me healthy.
I stay in shape physically and somewhat mentally, but I don't do a good job of pampering myself. For some unknown reason I hope it will just fall into my lap, like this gentlemans comment today. It's the little things that keep me going. Sometimes you don't realize how much you are missing until you experience it.
After finalizing my divorce a few months ago, I swore to myself I would work on making both my daughters life, my life, and the stores "life" better. One thought I will probably never get over is that my marriage failed. While I received the most beautiful daughter possible from it,
I left with a bunch of guilt. I do know that everyones life who comes across my path will be better from this point on, I do wish I had the last ten years back to try again. Basically the purpose of this blog, even though I digressed, was to thank that certain customer for feeling what it is that I am trying to create. You may be the only one, or there might be many more, but you did a great job of showing it.

"Understand"

One thing or possible theme in my life, is the feeling of not being understood. I don't expect people to, nor am I actually sure there really is something to understand. One thing I do know for sure is I have a certain environment I want my store have. To "create this environment" I go only on my gut instinct. More often than not it may be illogical, but at the same time I know deep down inside whether it is how I truly want it. To maintain this feel along with a respectable level of income derived from it, I must pay close attention to areas of concern. One area which might be the toughest is the hiring of a new employee. This is definitely the area that seems to irritate more customers than I feel is fair. Whenever I lose an employee, I am bombarded with people that want to work here. The problem lies in the fact that no matter who I hire, I am going to get my fair share of "looks" that I don't deserve. Just so everyone knows,
I base my hire on four main factors. While there is no scientific method to guarantee a great employee, I feel I have developed I very good understanding of who will, and who would not work out. So people know my four main factors are as follows:
1. Job history. The type of jobs you work as well as how long you stay with each of them.
2. Responsibility. Do you maintain multiple jobs, drive a nice well maintained car, go to school
and work at the same time, take good care of your child, etc. Or have you lived the same
carefree existance for quite a while without getting any further ahead in life. I've always felt if you have a hard time managing your own life, how are you going to manage mine?
3. Most important and hardest to explain is whether I feel you have the personality to maintain and add to the aura of my store. I believe stongly in chemistry and the fact that one wrong addition can ruin the whole balance. Depending on what I feel is missing determines who my next hire will be. While I chose Jenny over many well qualified applicants, I do not for one second feel I made a mistake. With her I saw spirit, determination, responsibility, and she was looking for a second job. Only time will tell as to whether I was right, but I am very happy with my decision.
4. Last really tiny factor, but worth mentioning, I try to hire people who are not tied to current or ex employees. Often they come in biased or problems seem to arise more often than not. Just history, nothing more.

My Vacation!!

Two weeks ago my daughter and I went on a vacation to Missouri to see my mom, brother, his wife and his two children. First of all they are possibly the two cutest kids I have ever seen. Both mom and dad have a great set of genes, so these should be pretty good peoples. My mom was my mom. She will never change. Thank God! She is possibly the most real person you will ever meet. There is nothing fake about her. I truly appreciate knowing she will always be herself. My brother looked real good as well. I spent most of my younger life worrying he would be a punk, yet he turned out to be an amazing person. He is such a good father. However I can tell you he is about to get the ultimate lesson in patience. As different as we are in lifestyles, deep down I think we both really think the same. As with myself, I truly felt he always thinks of others first and himself last. His wife is an absolute peach. She takes her role as a mother so seriously, which is so important. So few people realize there really is no room for error when it comes to raising a child. My mom's farm really was a great place to get away.(however I am addicted to showers). I enjoyed seeing wild turkey, deer and more varieties of birds than I ever imagined on her property. Her town was very quaint as well. Definitely a few steps back in time. I suppose it wouldn't be fair to only share my positive thoughts, so I must share my negative ones as well. I HATE TICKS!!!!!!!!!! I flew back to Portland and immediately took a nice long hot shower. Guess what I had an effing tick on my back thigh.(he should of at least shared in the cost of the airline TICKet.) Wow where did thst cheesy moment come from.
Next gripe would be the lack of a good beer selection anywhere(Sorry BUSCH). The final thought will probably have severe ramifications for me at some point in life, but it is only my thought so take it with a grain of salt.
My Aunt, uncle, and cousin visited the farm for a few hours while we were there. My aunt is permantly handicapped in a wheelchair and requires constant help from others. She is possibly the sweetest person I have ever met. She made every effort to be a part of the event and I truly enjoyed my conversation with her. One of her daughters came as well. She recently moved to Missouri to help with her mom as well as help herself. She appeared to be near the brink of a breakdown. While I can only imagine what she goes through she is way too young to be going through this. She is absolutely beautiful, intelligent, and young, and has everything going for her if she chooses to fight hard enough. I just worry she will get herself caught in a no win situation which is what it now appears to be. I think she is stuck between the love of her mother and the love of her father while not being able to respect both. The final observation is what is going to hurt. TO ME, my uncle appeared to be very self centered, very much sheltered from everyone else and simply going through the motions. While I understand I have no right to formulate an opinion on such a small amount of time, I do know my uncle is not the type of person who would make my life better by being in it. I know he has been through more than I ever will, but noone ever said life was going to be perfect. I hope he takes a long look at his daughter and her path and realizes, that he is probably the only person on this planet who can help her right now. Personally I will be sick to my stomach if she ends up having a hard time in life because of this. Hopefully she will spend a lot of time with my mom while there. My mom will help her out in so many ways that I'm pretty sure she isn't going to get with her parents. I apologize if this causes any problems but I am only sharing this because I truly care about you all as a family. While I may have issues individually, there is no reason everybody can't be taken care of one way or another. Synopsis. Terry, be strong. Tera, Take care of yourself, for you are an amazing woman, and Johnny, take a good look at what is truly important to you. Love to Everbody!!!!!!!

Hello Again!!

Since it has been so long since last time I am going to post this as a bunch of random thoughts from the last month. First of all it really sucks being shorthanded at the store. Brandon and I are working it all alone. I can handle the hours, it's the lack of quality time with my daughter that really hurts. However I don't think I will ever find enough of that. We did have an absolutely wonderful vacation together, but I am going to save that for an entire blog next.
Like my notes in the window at the store these really serve as a form of entertainment for whomever wishes to read them. I enjoy sharing my thoughts, and especially like receiving feedback good or bad. Today a lady at the store asked me if I was the one who wrote all the notes in the window. I replied yes to which she proceeded to tell me how much she respected me. She then told me to never change and continued with the respect comments a few more times. While I am not sure what exactly struck a chord with her, I'll wager a guess that she was probably in a bad relationship with someone who did not respect her. My natural inclination when someone compliments me excessively is to believe they are probably searching for some themselves. Either way I would really enjoy a conversation with you if you happen to read this.
While on the topic of the notes, I heard one I used to hear everyday and haven't for a while. I forgot just how much it irritated me. "You seem pretty intelligent. What are you doing working here?" Just so everyone knows, I truly enjoy what I do. No glory, but I enjoy going to work everyday. Even the bad days are enjoyable for the most part. Speaking of which. I had to laugh at My God's cruel timing. A few nights ago a couple of women came in and were having a good time on the town. One offered to flash me in exchange for a tobacco pipe. Not being one to turn this down I agreed, but told her she must come inside to do it. She pulled around and came inside. She chose her pipe and was about to lift her shirt when a hispanic male stumbled through the door to get some beer. Beyond drunk I told him he could not have any and that he must leave. He told me it was all good and to not worry about it. Once again I said "sorry man but you got to go". He then started to make lewd comments to the girls causing them extreme discomfort. I raised my voice telling him to leave now, to which he replied, "shut up man I'll fucking kill you." Wow what a mood changer. At this point the girls are real scared, when two Gresham police officers came in imediately arrest him. Obviously he did something elsewhere. Needless to say the girls left promising me some other time. GREAT TIMING!!
My tennis team lost our first match of the year. We were short two of our best players which really hurt. Otherwise we would of never lost that match. We are now in second place with a
3-1 record. Fortunately we are still in the fight for the playoffs. Only 8 out of 24 teams make it and right now we are seeded 5th. It was the first time one of our singles players lost a match all year. I still believe we have the top 2 players in the league out of about 350 players. Even the best lose once in a while.
One last theme I wish to address only because it is bothering me is the amount of good people in bad relationships. I talked to a girl who got off work an hour early only to discover her boyfriend making out on the couch with some other girl. They fought, broke up, and then got back together again a few weeks later. They got in a fight again to which he says in the heat of a verbal war"No wander your dad left you when you were four years old." Wow what a catch!!
The sad thing is she is one of the most beautiful and sweetest people you would ever meet. Very rarely does a day go by that I don't hear one of these stories.
Last of all for know. I spent Saturday at "Saturday Market with my daughter and had an absolutely wonderful time. She would of made my Mom so proud. She ordered Tofu over fried noodles. Inside joke but pretty cool none the less.