My new Website is up and running, however is is still in the infancy stages so please be patient!
The link is as follows:
www.hiltonshaven.com
Please refrain from laughing, joking, prodding, or any other juvenile tactic as it is not even scratched the surfaces yet. And yes I realize it CURRENTLY looks very GAY!!!!!
Today I am going to do my absolute favorite type of blog. This is the one where I don't have any point, rant, message or anything else other than a few random thoughts. First of all, and by far the absolute most important thought of them all, my daughter graduated from 8th grade yesterday. She received special recognition with a select few other kids for earning straight A's throughout Middle school. There truly is no way for me to emphasize just how proud I am of her as a person, but anyone who knows me, understands. She truly is a special person. Perhaps I may be biased, but you really don't see many kids like her. The only kid I have met who impresses me as much is Vantage Kings and Marlboro Lt. 100's in a boxes daughter.(names withheld for privacy.) I am very excited about her starting high school, however I feel I just aged 10 years everytime I tell someone my girl is now in high school. Perhaps getting old is one of the saddest things in life, however, there has not been a more beautiful event than watching my daughter grow up. We have a lot of fun plans for this summer, as I want to make it extra special for her before she starts a whole new journey in life.
The other important event for me(tiny in comparison) starts tomorrow evening. The tennis team I coach and play on won our division for the FOURTH straight year, and have our first round playoff match tomorrow night at the MAC club downtown. 26 teams were narrowed down to 8 with only one team advancing to the Pacifac Northwest Championships. To get there we have to win three straight matches without a loss. We did it last year for the first time in the clubs history , however our team is not as strong this year. Luck was not on our side this year. Two weeks ago a key player tore a muscle in his calf and will miss the playoffs. Also a couple of players are out of town(or country for that matter). Either way we will fight our hardest, as that is who we are.
One last thought, name withheld for privacy, but anyone who is anyone will figure this out. One of my employees and dear friend has reentered the technological world, and is learning so much in a short amount of time. It's so good to see as it really is a vital part of the world we now live in. While living life with our blinders on we constantly miss important facets. Both of us are guilty of that in different ways. As we get older life becomes harder and harder to comprehend. Whether it is trends, society, technology, or the world in general, we seem to fall behind rather quickly. The internet is quite possibly the easiest tool for maintaining some sort of understanding. Thank you for reopening this, and I will do the same with the cave I have been living in.
However, I do have to include one teeny small rant to my customers. PLEASE PUT DOWN YOUR FUCKING CELL PHONES WHEN YOU PULL UP TO MY WINDOW. AS GAY AS THIS WILL SOUND NOT ONLY IS IT RUDE, BUT YOU DENIED ME THE POSSIBILITY OF A NICE CONVERSATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I realize I write generally in the same style, using the same words, perhaps even paraphrasing the same general thoughts over and over again. Perhaps this is because I kind of see life the same way. The number of times the same events repeat themselves is actually scary. I played in a tennis tournament this weekend and while waiting for my match to start, a leading sports equipment company set up a demo down on one of the courts giving away free items. One contest is where they set up a small cone directly inside the T of a servers box and give a prize to the first person who can hit it. After waiting in line I served and nailed it with a radar clocked serve of 90mph on my first try. Everyone cheered and I got my prize. A brand new t-shirt. Exactly 20 years ago I did the same thing only without radar and I won a racket that time. The coincidence actually bothered me because it showed just how much some things never change. The other thing which is also a general trend of society is you don't get nearly what you used to anywhere. Back to my writing style which is the original idea of this blog before I so rudely veered off track. I have never had any style regarding fashion or anything in life. I am generally a very plain, boring, ordinary, average, JOE SCHMO, whose head is filled with bizarre thoughts and for the most part they just rot there until I feel like letting something squeek out into mainstream society. Most people don't understand me, most don't know me, and very few are ever lucky enough to experience who I am. Off hand the only person I know who consistantly gets me is my daughter. She is truly an amazing person, and I can't imagine the thought of her never knowing what I really am about. I just wish there were about ten more of her in my life. Some people see glimpses, some see episodes, many share brief moments only never to cross that path again, but so far only her knows me for who I am. It saddens me at times, especially when I am alone. Dammit I digressed again...Perhaps it's not my writing style, it's my head. I suppose I could attempt to write in an alternative genre causing solitude for only a select few individuals sustaining enough internal composition to comprehend the magnitude of the ever expanding mind, but by doing this I quite possibly could see a drastic reduction in people willing to delve deep enough to explore my other side. Most likely this sentence would never even be read, and I would continue to project this verbal assault at and only at my daughter. Perhaps the analyzation of my writings would greatly diminish causing an increased likelihood of them becoming more prevalent on the web. Perhaps and most likely correct, I'd continue like I always have...with no rhyme and no reason!!!!!
I really have been in a funk for a while now. My mind has been out of control with a very large number of small tasks that need to be taken care of. I am not sure why I have been so inefficient when it comes to taking care of them. I truly need to spend one week and just take care of everything. I spent the evening alone debating whether to be productive or just relax and enjoy the peace and quiet. I decided to watch a back episode of Nip/Tuck, possibly one of the most thought provoking shows I've seen in a while. I just finished the second season and thoroughy enjoyed it. So often the plots parallel my inner challenges with myself as a person.
While I am usually bombarded with compliments and positive reinforcements as to who I am, I virtually finish every night thinking I could be doing so much more in this world. I have my priorities, and I don't seem to stray too far from them, but I know I need to expand my horizons a bit. One of my favorite customers put it best with, " If you want the guacamole, then you have to dip your chips." I thank her for that, and in due time I will break out of my shell, and live life a little more. This leads me to talk about a couple of themes I've been bombarded with lately.
Having been in the same area for a while I have watched many relationships grow and fail at the same time. Recently an ex employee told me "IT IS OVER" with her husband, not a day goes by that I don't hear a man or woman complain excessively about there spouse, often with offers or words that would immediately end the marriage. Somehow I have ended up with the title of the go to guy to vent about how crappy the womans husband is. I haven't quite figured out if I offer great advice, if I somehow remind them how good they really do have it after realizing their husband could be sitting on a stool working at a convenience store talking to other woman all day, or perhaps I am suppose to play the middle man and creatively relay the message in a better way to their husband when he comes by later for his beer. As with every conversation I have at the window, I like to assume or at least pretend that my opinion truly does count. I could not imagine it if nobady gave a damn about what I had to say. One last dumb note pertaining to me giving relationship advice. This is coming from someone who failed at his own marriage. However, today would have been 15 years, so at least it is longer than most out there.
I realize it has been a really long time since I wrote my last blog, and I really thought I would be better about that. I would love to throw out a whole list of excuses, but it still leaves the last month and a half pages blank. However, I will throw a few thoughts out regarding this. First of all, I am really confused as to what this is supposed to be about. My initial intention was too futher communicate to all the store peoples my various rants and thoughts in general. Somehow I branched off quite a bit making it far more personal than I intended. My general audience is very spread out from relatives to customers, to people googling certain words and continuing to read it after discovering it. I realize so much of what I write only interests a certain segment of readers, so I tried to mix it up. Then I found it hard to write about certain things because I knew what emotion it would bring out to the wrong person. Everyone seems to arrive at their own interpretation or desire to believe what it was I was really saying. Sadly, and I realize it is all my fault, this led to a constant procrastination. For this reason, I am only going to write what I want to write and I'll just hear out the comments and live with it. As I get older and possibly more jaded by society I discover myself caring less and less about others opinions concerning how I lead my life.
I am real aware that for the most part I am considered your proverbial nice guy. I have always gone out of my way to make others lives more comfortable doing so in a manner which minimizes what I did. I don't want or care for recognition, I only really want the knowledge in my mind that what I did or have done made a difference in that persons life. Whether they realize it or anyone else ever does really doesn't matter.
Part of the reason I have become jaded at the integrity, morals, and general nature of mankind is what I see and deal with on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong, I truly love my world. It's how others behave in my world that upsets me. Watching what society gets away with on a daily basis sickens me. Knowing how I live my life makes me a "better person," yet seeing the results of everyone else making their own rules and living the high life because of it gets real old.
Certain sayings scream in my ears all day long and will until the day I day. "Nice guys finish last" has to be the most painful of them all. So often I wish I could just break free of my paranoia of setting a bad example for my daughter or having my actions adversely affect others lives.
I hate understanding how the game is played, but not being willing to play it myself... I often live vicariously through others, sharing their excitement listening to the intense stories, and then finish my night sorting coupons, or doing paperwork or something pretty darn mundane.
Now that I have that off my chest I will say a few thank you's for some jestures of the past month. Names ommitted but it somehow always seems to get back to them. Many acts are actually by the same people but I will list them separately to psychologically lead myself to believe the acts are virtually endless..
I truly appreciate it when someone brings me breakfast sandwiches from McDonalds. Easily that tops my list for kindness. I appreciate all who bring back empty packs of cigs for my ceiling, I am thankful for the many girls who upheld the tradition of Mardi Gras. Especially Coors light 12 pak can girl(name withheld for respect), I appreciate the lady who actually picked up her cigarette off the ground after I told her how classy that is. I know it would have been easier to drive off with an attitude. I appreciate those who take a minute to tell me about their life or something that happened recently. I think I appreciate the girl who keeps telling me she left a Christmas present for me at home and swears she will bring it next time(unfortunately I forgave my right to an opinion on procrastination after going over a month without writing.)
I appreciate patience dearly. I know I can talk longer than I should to certain people, and it really hurts to be the car behind them. I think, all in all, my greatest appreciation will come from those who understand what my store really is about. I see it, I realize it, and most of all it makes all I do so much easier.
Last thought on this blog will be a little darker. I never have understood how certain occupatons ever find employees. Morticians, hazmat clean-up crew, crime scene clean-up, etc.
However, I really have it easy when it comes to what I do. Recently while cleaning up blood from an incident at the store I realized a few sad thoughts. One it no longer fazes me. It really now feels the same as a coffee spill. Two it's a lot easier cleaning blood from someone you don't know than from an employees, and three no matter how much you clean it up, you always find some you missed later on. Anyway I think I will end on that note. As always I have to be up in a few hours.
Not more than two minutes ago, I was helping my daughter with her algebra homework. As I sat there I found myself wiggling trying to find something else I could do while she applied what I had explained to her. I am not sure why I have such a hard time staying focused or sitting still
without actually doing something. I realized what a perfect time to write my blog. Usually I do it at 11:00pm or later after she has gone to bed, but I realized how perfect this could work out. You see my girl has the same problem I do. STAYING FOCUSED. This is the ultimate in multi-tasking as I can stop at anytime to help her without any repercussions. My computer will not shut itself down, or time itself out and she is right next to me the whole time, so I can make sure she stays on track as well. I just need to figure out a way to hold conversations in the drive through window while stocking the cooler and sweeping the parking lot at the same time. Believe me I have tried. I usually have four or five projects going at the same time. Unfortunately I rarely give any one the true attention it deserves. However when it comes to holding conversations at the window I do my best to make it as pleasurable as possible for both parties. However, I realize there are two areas where I need a lot of work. For the men out there, please refrain from any conversation relating to cars, especially when it comes to rebuilding them. I can fill my gas tank, and change my oil(if I felt like it) and that is about it. After that I am simply nodding while thinking I hope to God his wife doesn't have to listen to this all the time because I suffered immensely for the two minutes I had to hear it. I can only imagine what she is going through, and for the women, I can and will talk about absolutely anything you want. However, if you are looking for sympathy or understanding please don't tell me about the boyfriend who is beating you, or getting drunk every night, or sleeping with the whole damn neighborhood, or whatever he is doing because I know that deep down that is the excitement you are looking for. If Prince charming came along and gave you the world on a silver platter, you would create drama solely for the thrill. While I am not bitter at the fact that this is true, I am upset that I don't have the guts to play that game. It's tough to watch, but even tougher to accept.
While the vast majority of you probably
don't know who this is, New York Times best selling author Tucker Max actually wrote a book emphasizing this. While he both made himself rich and a social icon of sorts, he managed it completely at the womans expense. You have to laugh, but at the same time it really is sorta sad.
Sometimes I have the urge to write something I know I will I will be taking some flack for. This one will definitely lead to a series of comments about who I am. Fortunately I could care less deep down how I am perceived.
Every morning without fail(except during major storms) I have a group of friends that come visit me at the store. These friends mostly visit me because I provide them with a steady flow of goods to help their existance. While they by no means would not be able to survive without me, I definitely make their lives easier. I do this with the help of a major corporation, Frito-Lay.
Sometimes the generosity of these corporations leads to better lives for everyone. Usually out of code chips are thrown away for liability purposes, however I have saved these bags to help my friends in need. I am 100% sure they would never sue FritoLay and deep down I know it's the right thing to do. My friends come to me knowing I will take care of them, however there is always one who stays behind just to make sure the others are okay. I never have found out any of their names, and would have to queston my insanity if it really made a difference. They have come to represent a sort of beginning to my day. They are my caffeine. My day is just not the same if they don't stop by to visit me. They represent another small piece in the life of Hilton's Haven. I decided to take a few pictures of them to put up on my blog figuring there is no way they can complain considering what I give them religiously every day. However, I felt it right to take their pictures while they weren't paying attention so as to not offend them or make them feel uncomfortable. This guaranteed the most natural positions possible. Once a camera is on us, it is very hard to act the same. These photos are for posterity as there is always the possibility another store might offer them something more appealing. As with all "customers" I will do my best to make their lives a little better. Whether they appreciate it enough to stick around is their choice. I know there are more photos than necessary, but these guys really do deserve the recognition. Loyalty is one of my favorite traits. Thanks guys, and see you in seven hours. We are having bbq fritos for breakfast tomorrow. And I apologize for the photo of you eating, I know that is very rude of me!!!!!!!
I am a little offended by the last picture. It almost feels as if they were holding out on coming down until I give them something better. They are very well fed. I am sure they were just keeping an eye on the store for me. Actually that is where they go whenever a car pulls up to their breakfast table.
Well considering it has been over a month since I last wrote, I should have a lot to write about.
I DO. First of all, this last storm we just had really messed up the roads and lifestyle of many people. I enjoy my Mustang most of the time, but it does not handle worth a damn on snow and ice. It definitely hinders your ability to just relax and drive wherever. The number of appointments, and errands skipped because of it really sets things out of whack. On the otherhand, I don't think anything is more magical than seeing snow fall out of the sky.
I played in one of the tougher tennis tournaments in the Pacifac northwest and got my butt kicked royally in both singles and doubles. I won a total of six games between the four sets. To put that in perspective I won a game for every 40 miles I drove to play in it. However, besides playing indoors in 30 degree weather, I loved every minute of it. My lungs burned for about four days afterwards. The best part was watching the University of Oregons players play and get knocked out one by one with their #1 player losing in the finals to a 39 year old ex professional player who still has an amazing game. Although I am not even close to their level, I enjoy and appreciate the talent they possess.
My daughter got two pet rats for Christmas, and really enjoys playing with them. It's fun to watch her enthusiasm when it comes to playing and taking care of them. She does a very good job of taking care of all the pets at both houses. The only thing she gets more excited about is when she doesn't have to run the 1600 at school for weather reasons.
Boring but irritating subject. Contract negotiations have been going on for over a week between my store, RJ Reynolds, and Philip Morris. It is now close to physically impossible to please all three. RJ is starting to get a little big for their britches, P.M. is raising the stakes big time to keep RJ down, and I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Feb. 1 is when the official contract is available for RJ and I am nervous is won't be good enough to not go higher with P.M. My tough part is I have built an amazing relationship with the Rj rep afters years of hatred for their company. Business is business, but I don't want it to all end over $$$$.
Oh and by the way everyone brace themselves for another month filled with price changes.
I forgot to write about the beautiful oxymoron thrown out by the state of Oregon. We as a retailer will not be able to sell single stick cigarettes after Jan. 31, due to tax reasons. They have been stressing the importance of health and quitting smoking and at the same time they are now forcing anyone who really needs a smoke to buy a whole pack.
My tennis team starts back up the first week of February. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Quite possibly my favorite thing to do. I enjoy the challenge of putting together and coaching a good team. You can see how good you are on paper at the beginning of the year, but you never really know. This year should be our best yet. We have some real talent. Our combined reord the last 3 years is 20wins and 2 losses, winning our division all 3 years. I enjoy knowing we are the team to beat.
One quick rant about the store. My most recent hire has received more complaints than any clerk I have ever hired, mostly surrounding behavior. He is young, learning, and still immature, but he has a good heart and will surprise you if you can get past his initial demeanor. I ask you to look a little harder at this one and I think all will be good. However I do appreciate complaints because I can't solve or attempt to without knowing about it in the first place.
Last thought of the day. Katie you are strike three on the PINKIE SWEAR. I now truly understand. It is just a silly saying, it doesn't actually mean anything. My bad for thinking otherwise.
One truly last thought. I finally secured the Domain name Hiltonshaven.com and will have an incredibly cool, bizarre, twisted, abnormal, borderline questionable, website to convey what HH is really about. The amount of radical ideas that have been frying my brain waiting about three years for this will finally happen. The world will never be the same. At least mine won't. By the way anyone in internet land stay away from Hostingplex.com as they truly suck. I would go into greater detail but I'm trying to keep this somewhat clean, unlike my up and coming website.......
As a forewarning to the world. My mind truly is warped I just have enough sense to confine it to the back of my head, I just felt this would be a good place for my disclaimor statement.
One last last thought... Kudos to Irish Brothers coffee stand on 181st for not only hiring pretty, intelligent, and cool woman, but actually staying open long enough for me to patron them. Class act all the way around.
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