Nice Job Gophers!!!

Often I write these blogs never knowing if they will be read by the person intended for or not. While I don't want to tell anyone to read my blogs, I, at the same time hope they do for sake of achieving the desired effect. Todays little story will be told regardless of the fact that I know she won't read it. Often it is so hard to formulate an opinion about someone when you only see them in a controlled environment. There is this one customer who is extremely beautiful, drives a very nice car, appears very well taken care of, and is always very nice. The other evening I took my daughter to see the Gresham High School Choir perform. The event was huge with tons of family supporting their kids and siblings. This girl looked absolutely miserable that she had to watch a younger family member perform. She played with her phone, and did everything possible to weasel out of the night well before it was over. She left early saying she was very tired. All I wanted to say to her was the opportunity in life to be apart of these events will diminish greatly as you get older. Please slow down and be a part of their life. Besides I think everyone will agree that the choir did a great job. While I know absolutely nothing about music, I thoroughly enjoyed it. My personal highlight was listening to my daughter whistle real loud after a few songs.. You never know what you might experience at these kind of events, but you should definitely keep your eyes and ears and heart open.

Sometimes I just Suck!!!!!!!!

I know it has been a while, but I didn't feel like writing. However, I do have something to get off my chest. For the first time ever I played in a tennis tournament and literally had no desire to play. I'm not sure of the psychological reasonings for this, but I do know it was a horrible feeling. My first round match was at 5:30pm out in Lake Oswego on Thursday. For starters I usually pick up my daughter after school at 4:00pm. With traffic I knew this was going to be extremely close. Then I found out she had a 4:30 pizza party to celebrate the end of her volleyball season.(11-2 record by the way) Knowing this there would be no way I would make it. She volunteered to walk home alone,(her first time) and did so without griping. However I felt horrible because this is happening so I can play tennis. Next I went home to get into my shorts and found out my cat peed on them. Strike two. Unfortunately I am extremely superstitious about what I wear to a tournament. I have probably 50 t-shirts, and I look at each one until I get the "right" feeling about which one I should wear. This is the first time I ever just picked a shirt and left. I just didn't care at this point. My other gripe, which is really stupid is why the tournament is even starting on Thursday. They have plenty of courts and
plenty of time to coordinate other events around this. The club only hosts two major tourneys a year, so I would think they would get preference. After arriving I was in a foul mood from the get go. I have never dropped out of a tournament or defaulted due to any reason, however I wanted to not play so bad. I finally went out and fell behind very quickly. I still didn't care.
I decided after my third game I was going to just go for everything instead of playing smart tennis. It's funner that way however the mistakes always lead to a loss. I lost very bad to an excellent player, and hope to never feel this way again. I've always lived for a tournament weekend and been pumped up all week. I've tried to think of reasons this happened and all I can think of is"sometimes I just plain suck." End of story!!!!!!!!

Thank You Fouad!

So often in life someone enters our lives for a short period of time. Sometimes they leave a lasting impression and sometimes we're actually glad to see them leave. While I only knew Fouad Kaady as a customer of my store for about two years, I've come to realize what an incredible person he must have been. I spent close to four hours today at the Clackamas County Courthouse in order to testify in front of a Grand Jury. Upon arriving I was immediately greeted by numerous family members. I talked to a few for a while and quickly realized how much they loved him. They handed me signs to help their protest, but I felt since I was testifying, it would be improper of me to do so. I can't believe how much my heart bled. I could not fathom anything of this magnitude happening to my brother or any other family member and not wanting to spend the rest of my life fighting for justice. I wanted to thank Fouad mostly for his kindness. While we never did anything outside of work, being offered a barbecue lunch by him was an incedible jesture on his part. He always appeared to be thinking about others before himself. The most important lesson he taught me would be to take the time to get to know those who I think are good people. I'm sick to my stomach for not having that lunch with him. Getting to experience so little of what he had to offer leaves me wondering how often this occurs in my life. Time spent doing absolutely nothing is really a shame when the alternative is getting to better know someone like Fouad. Please take the time to experience the things you would otherwise blow off. You never know when that might be taken away.

P.S. The painting on the left side was drawn by Fouad.

Bad loss made good!

Some days I sit down and think of what I should write about and come up with absolutely nothing. Other days it consumes my mind all day about getting home to write. Saturday afternoon I lost in the second round of a tennis tournament to a team that should never of beaten me and my partner. I was disgusted with the lost all day and had a hard time shaking it off. I never have been able to accept losing when it is me losing and not them beating me. If you dominate me and I never have a chance, then it's all good. If I feel I am a better player and didn't play up to my best, then a loss sits in my kitchen for quite a while. Upon arriving at home after the match, I spent the rest of the day with my daughter, which helps remind me there is so much more to life than tennis or whatever is the problem of the day. There will always be something that doesn't go my way, the trick is limiting the time you spend dwelling on it. I decided to take my daughter to see Wallace and Gromit, and was so thankful I did. One on One time with her is so much fun. She always reminds me how special life is, and how simple life can be. I am constantly reminded by her how we can have fun without having to search for excitement. She can entertain herself with anything. Listening to her recite the previous episode of Teen Titans, and laughing at each line is absolutely priceless. I really need to work on accepting lifes simple pleasures and not dwelling
on all the curve balls thrown at me. I thank my girl for that, however, I still hate losing!!!!!!!!!

Irony sucks!!!

Earlier today I had the pleasure of helping an individual at the window I had never seen before.
As I open the window and asked "what can I get you"?, I'm greeted with the ever so pleasant, newly discovered, internationally known, just one minute sign. This is represented by the index finger being held up vertically with a cell phone attached to the ear. Somehow, he being in his own beautiful world doesn't care about the fact that there is a car waiting behind him or the fact that I'm sitting there staring at him in disbelief. He has a beautiful expensive car, very nicely dressed, very clean interior, and appears to have life completely under control. Unfortunately, he is incapable of handling a simple transaction without messing up other peoples lives in the meantime. As I stare at him for about a minute every thought in the world has now gone through my mind. If something this easy takes him so long what happens if he is forced to decide that best way to save a victim in a car accident if he is the first on the scene. I know I don't want my lives in his hands. After finally finishing with this guy the next car pulls up and tells me what they want before I can even open the window. Wow, talk about opposite ends of the spectrum in back to back cars. This time the car is a junker, messy inside, and the driver is needing all sorts of personal attention to detail. However she knows what she wants and took care of it in a very efficient manner. I think I definately want her first to the scene if my lifes at stake, then I realize, maybe she'd solve everything short term but leave me messed up because she made the incorrect decision, while the other guy took his time and made sure everything was done correct. For every decision in life there is an argument somehow for each method used to solve it. My mind went through countless arguments between which person I wanted to be on the scene and all I came up with in the end was I sure do hope a paramedic gets there before either one touches me.

Nice Rebounding!!!!!!!!!

Often I go down to my store more or less just to hang out for a while. I never know who I'll see, or what will happen, but I always enjoy a good conversation. Tonight one theme really took it's toll on me. I was down there for about two hours when I realized one sad coincidence for two separate conversations. The first one took place with a girl that I have always thought was someone who is very special. She has been through a tough marriage and rebounded very nicely. Unfortunately I have never tried to get to know her better because one of her best friends hates my guts with a severe passion. I don't wish to open a can of worms by trying to get to know her better, but at the same time, I hate depriving myself of something special because of that. The second conversation ran along the same path. While talking to her I quickly realized was a good person she is . I've always had that feeling, but never talked to her long enough to confirm it. I often talk to people and quickly discover that they have learned to master the "textbook responses" for what the other person wants to hear. These people really bother me and actually sicken me for their lack of individualism. I figured out rather quick that this girl is not that way at all. She is herself and nothing more than that, and like myself very comfortable with who I am regardless of what anyone else thinks. Once again this girl is tied through other people who would make me feel like a complete jerk for even thinking about futhering a conversation with her. Upon getting a divorce I immediately realized that my ex is no longer with me, but with whoever she feels would make her happy. I have no say nor would I feel any different if she chose a friend of mine. However in society that it considered very taboo. For some reason people seem to treat a wife or exwife as a piece of property and not an individual with their own freedom of choice. I've have already been burned at the stake for making that decision once(just ask Brandon) and am very gunshy about doing it again. If by chance either of you read this, I want you to both know that you are very special people who have done a good job of moving on after a tough relationship. The main thing is if you can't take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of the next person who enters your life.

The Ceiling of life

Few people will understand this, but I wanted to share it because it is VERY important to me. I pride myself on relishing the smaller things in life. Sometimes in doing so they become bigger. Those of you who have been in my store have seen my ceiling covered with empty cigarette packs. While this began by me as a sort of curiosity, it turned into something far greater than that. As I look up at the ceiling each day I'm reminded of so many wonderful things. I want to share a few with you hoping you'll understand and possibly help any way you can. First of all, possibly the most painful and most serene of them all is Fouad Kaady's packs. He gave me 3 or 4 packs to put up, which I ALWAYS do. He was recently shot and killed by two police officers who, in my opinion, made a very poor judgement call. Having those up there gives me both the neverending memory of Fouad, but a reminder of just how fast life can be taken from you. Other favorites include special packs brought back from France and Germany as well as a few other countries. It's really nice to know someone can be thousands of miles away and they still think about their corner store. I truly appreciate the small messages written on them, the signatures, and the great little pictures some like to draw. Each add character, but more important each add an extra memory of the person who brought them. While people come and go, any extra thing to help remember them goes a long way.

THE POWER LIES WITHIN

As corny as this is about to sound, I wanted to thank a cetain individual for something he said in his blog. After reading this he will understand completely and hopefully one time or another many of you will to. For those of you who don't know, Hilton's Haven is the name of my store. It is a convenience store of sorts. To me, however, I have fought very hard to create a place where I can make a difference in others peoples lives, create a career which allows me to spend time with my daughter, as well as have a life of my own. Trying to establish a business who truly cares more about the people of this world, than the income derived from it is extremely challenging. My main belief is it has to be about the people. I try to hire people who I feel care more about the human race than about having the material possessions this world has to offer. While I understand that I will never get rich here, at the same time I hope customers understand why I close for ten minutes in the morning to take my daughter to Choir before school starts. While this may not be a a good business move, I won't have this opportunity to drop off my child at school very much longer. Many people stop by each day, whether for a quick chat with the worker, maybe it's just habit, or maybe, and the one I hope for the most, they just wanted to go somewhere to make them feel a little more happy. I try my hardest to bring joy to everyone who shops here. Some understand and show their appreciation, while other leave just as miserable. I know I can't make a difference in everyone's life but I'll never give up. While the aforementioned blog contained a thought about my barstool, he may or may not realize that to me that is one of a thousand little pieces of joy that makes up my store. I thank you for understanding what my store is truly about and hope that others do to.

A Little About Me!!

I suppose it is only fair to let some people know a little about myself. If I was to only gripe about society and share my beliefs but not open up myself to criticism, than part of my messages about life would be lost. For beginners I'll share some of my favorite pasttimes in no particular order. I have been a Los Angeles(St. Louis ) Rams fan since 1977, a very loyal one at that. To me they will always be the L.A. Rams, but I guess you do have to accept change. Being from California I learned to like all the L.A. teams as a kid. I truly enjoy watching all their games, even though it is becoming more painful each season since they won the Super Bowl in 1999.
Another favorite of mine is watching my daughter play volleyball. She just finished playing club ball with Mt. Hood Volleyball Club's u-12 team. She had an incredibly tough yet awesome coach who truly helped advance her game. She now plays on the 7th grade varsity team for Clear Creek Middle School. While the team is nowhere near as good as the club team, it is still a great learning experience for her. I find this team a lot harder to watch because of the lack of teamwork and severe lack of discipline. I see it more as a stepping stone to the 8Th grade team, but I always believe winning should be the number one goal. To compete at high levels in sports, that has to be automatically instilled in your brain. While there are tons of things I enjoy I tried to just pick a few that came to my mind quickly. The last one for now would have to be playing tennis. I currently play in most tennis tournaments in a 50 mile radius. My favorite one being the "Nike Open" held at Tualatin Hills Raquet Center. Somehow it always has 90-100 degree weather and is one of the few played outside. I also play USTA men's league in the summer, and
USTA mixed doubles in the fall and winter, which coincidentally starts this Sunday. Were it not for responsibility, I could easily spend the rest of my life as a tennis bum. It has always been a very important part of my life and always will be. I have found that no matter what is going on in life I can walk onto a court and it is almost like entering another realm. I think the two things I enjoy most about it would have to be the fact that it is the ultimate sport for one on one competition. There are to many factors involved for one person to truly dominate. The only factor that makes a true difference is the level of training. The other reason you very rarely come across bad people in this sport. I get along great with most players, even though tennis players are probably the most cocky of any athletes. While I don't believe myself to be that way at all in life, the second tournament time comes about, I feel my personality change. I think it's just from being taught to never show any fear no matter how good or bad your opponent is. I could go on forever but I will spare you the boredom. I just wanted people to understand a little more about me.

It's not about you!!!!!

While we all know this cartoon to be a spoof, it is so incredibly real it is sickening. Not a day goes by where I don't help some drugged out mother standing next to her child. As she buys a 12 pack of beer at 9 in the morning and buys her kid a 10 cent piece of laffy taffy, she somehow believes her kid has no clue to her condition. While this may be true for a while, there will always be a time when the kid puts all the pieces together and realizes what crappy parents he/she has. Of everything in this world, there is nothing I am more thankful than to have been raised by two parents who cared for me and my brother more than anything in this world. I never realized how blessed I was until I watch the flip side on a daily basis. Those of you who think your children are not picking up your habits have a nice shock ahead of you. I could not imagine the feeling of realizing that not only did I mess up my life, but I failed to give my children the tools necessary to have a good life. Thank you mom and dad, and thank you to the parents who understand that it's about their children and not about themselves!!!! For it is you people who continue to make this planet a decent place to live.