NO RHYME OR REASON!

I realize I write generally in the same style, using the same words, perhaps even paraphrasing the same general thoughts over and over again. Perhaps this is because I kind of see life the same way. The number of times the same events repeat themselves is actually scary. I played in a tennis tournament this weekend and while waiting for my match to start, a leading sports equipment company set up a demo down on one of the courts giving away free items. One contest is where they set up a small cone directly inside the T of a servers box and give a prize to the first person who can hit it. After waiting in line I served and nailed it with a radar clocked serve of 90mph on my first try. Everyone cheered and I got my prize. A brand new t-shirt. Exactly 20 years ago I did the same thing only without radar and I won a racket that time. The coincidence actually bothered me because it showed just how much some things never change. The other thing which is also a general trend of society is you don't get nearly what you used to anywhere. Back to my writing style which is the original idea of this blog before I so rudely veered off track. I have never had any style regarding fashion or anything in life. I am generally a very plain, boring, ordinary, average, JOE SCHMO, whose head is filled with bizarre thoughts and for the most part they just rot there until I feel like letting something squeek out into mainstream society. Most people don't understand me, most don't know me, and very few are ever lucky enough to experience who I am. Off hand the only person I know who consistantly gets me is my daughter. She is truly an amazing person, and I can't imagine the thought of her never knowing what I really am about. I just wish there were about ten more of her in my life. Some people see glimpses, some see episodes, many share brief moments only never to cross that path again, but so far only her knows me for who I am. It saddens me at times, especially when I am alone. Dammit I digressed again...Perhaps it's not my writing style, it's my head. I suppose I could attempt to write in an alternative genre causing solitude for only a select few individuals sustaining enough internal composition to comprehend the magnitude of the ever expanding mind, but by doing this I quite possibly could see a drastic reduction in people willing to delve deep enough to explore my other side. Most likely this sentence would never even be read, and I would continue to project this verbal assault at and only at my daughter. Perhaps the analyzation of my writings would greatly diminish causing an increased likelihood of them becoming more prevalent on the web. Perhaps and most likely correct, I'd continue like I always have...with no rhyme and no reason!!!!!

Advice? WHY ME?

I really have been in a funk for a while now. My mind has been out of control with a very large number of small tasks that need to be taken care of. I am not sure why I have been so inefficient when it comes to taking care of them. I truly need to spend one week and just take care of everything. I spent the evening alone debating whether to be productive or just relax and enjoy the peace and quiet. I decided to watch a back episode of Nip/Tuck, possibly one of the most thought provoking shows I've seen in a while. I just finished the second season and thoroughy enjoyed it. So often the plots parallel my inner challenges with myself as a person.
While I am usually bombarded with compliments and positive reinforcements as to who I am, I virtually finish every night thinking I could be doing so much more in this world. I have my priorities, and I don't seem to stray too far from them, but I know I need to expand my horizons a bit. One of my favorite customers put it best with, " If you want the guacamole, then you have to dip your chips." I thank her for that, and in due time I will break out of my shell, and live life a little more. This leads me to talk about a couple of themes I've been bombarded with lately.
Having been in the same area for a while I have watched many relationships grow and fail at the same time. Recently an ex employee told me "IT IS OVER" with her husband, not a day goes by that I don't hear a man or woman complain excessively about there spouse, often with offers or words that would immediately end the marriage. Somehow I have ended up with the title of the go to guy to vent about how crappy the womans husband is. I haven't quite figured out if I offer great advice, if I somehow remind them how good they really do have it after realizing their husband could be sitting on a stool working at a convenience store talking to other woman all day, or perhaps I am suppose to play the middle man and creatively relay the message in a better way to their husband when he comes by later for his beer. As with every conversation I have at the window, I like to assume or at least pretend that my opinion truly does count. I could not imagine it if nobady gave a damn about what I had to say. One last dumb note pertaining to me giving relationship advice. This is coming from someone who failed at his own marriage. However, today would have been 15 years, so at least it is longer than most out there.